Yes, I do still exist.
These last few weeks, I’ve been cleaning house. Not my literal house, although that is also clean. (Thankfully.) But for a while now I’ve been feeling a push to do fewer things. This wasn’t something I wanted to feel, because I like all my things. That’s why I do them. I especially like the people I see at all my things. It would be sad not to see them anymore. I tried to satisfy the feeling by dropping out of one of my roleplaying games. See! I said. I’m doing less!
Yeah, that didn’t work. So now I’ve also dropped out of two of my writing groups also. And I’ve stopped making my less-rigidly-scheduled social things a priority. That leaves me with one weekly writing group and one weekly roleplaying game and. that’s. it. as far as scheduled events. I also said no to an opportunity I really wanted, but didn’t feel right about. That’s a lot of cleaning house, let me tell you. It hurt.
What am I doing with all that extra time? I’m writing, which was kind of the point. And keeping up with household and business tasks. My long backlog of Things. To. Do has disappeared. Also, I’ve been doing a lot of chilling with Drew, which, let’s face it, is pretty much my favorite thing in the world to do.
Meanwhile, everything we own persists in breaking. The lawn mower went last month (and we had to buy a new one). The car went this month (thankfully we caught the problem before it actually died on the road, but that didn’t make paying for the fix less painful). I am hoping that finally listening to myself and cleaning metaphorical house the way I should have months ago is going to somehow karmically glue our literal house together for a little while, because I am so ready for my budget to have a month or two to catch up.