On Resolutions

I am a resolved person.

It is this resolve that pushes me through book after book even though none of them are selling.

It is this resolve that sends my work out again and again, even though all I get is rejection.

It is this resolve that makes me look at the possibility of business ownership, agree to it, and then push through all the uncertainty and doubt and (lets face it) terror.

It is this resolve that gets me to learn tax law and business accounting, even though I’m an English major gosh-dang-it who spent most of math class asking when we were ever going to use this. (For the record, I still don’t use my trig or pre-calc. I doubt I ever will.)

But back to the point.

I am a resolved person.

Which makes New Years Resolutions awkward, because I’m already committed to so many resolutions throughout the year.

This year I am already resolved to finish my dang revision–no matter how much I hate it or how much anxiety it causes me–in the next few months.

I am already resolved to send it to my agent, make possible further changes, and then allow him to send it wherever he chooses, and stave off insanity as the responses come in, whatever they may be.

I am already resolved not to let the limbo and uncertainty of the last year continue so long that they put my other goals in peril. I am resolved to take my earning power back into my own hands if success eludes me that long.

I am already resolved to once again figure out tax filing, royalty statements, rights agreements, and budgeting, even though I swear these tasks change every time that I do them. I am also resolved to take a long hard look at incorporating, and make some kind of time-line or contingency plan for transformation based on what I find there.

I am already resolved to continue as business assistant so that our business can continue to grow. I am resolved to remember that the prognosis is hopeful, even if the immediate results aren’t yet sustainable.

I am also resolved to remember that while this life is precarious, it is also guided. I believe in God. And I have felt his approval of my goals. All I can do now is remain resolved, and push through. 2009 was the year of limbo, but it was also the year of preparation. Here’s hoping for pay off in 2010.